Friendship and communication

 

You didn't call me for 2 days!! I hear that a lot these days...from most of my friends.... the thing that makes me really confused is that I was in a tight corner for about a month or something and no one bothered to ask about me!! I had final exams!! I had no time to sleep or eat or even breathe...and yes I was in a dreadful mood, I couldn't speak to anyone, not even my own family....

So is that my fault now!? is that something to be blamed for?!! why didn't you ask about me people?! there's nothing called " I ask about you every time and you don't " this I not friendship!! it's not about how many times you called or texted...we don't count these things...this is not how things work...
Although I was in the middle of my tests and I asked about others and talked to others, but it appeared that they were too busy to even reply.
" I miss you " I heard that a lot... but I only hear it?! where is those actions which are supposed to prove it?! you miss me, then call, text, ask to meet me and I will do my best to meet you...
I stopped talking or texting or even caring cause  it feels like am begging people to miss me, see me, love me, care about me.....am not their priority anymore and this kills me....
And no matter how many times you try to make the understand how you feel and how it affects you , they just keep on doing it, and when you finally let go of them
they come back feeling so mad at you and it's your fault in the end....
I no longer speak what's inside of me...sometimes because it's useless, other times because it will hurt you....
I know every one's weakness and I am capable of saying certain words that will hurt them so badly, but I shut up!! why?! cause I am not that bitch.....but does anyone appreciate  it?!! NO!!
internet and the various applications were meant for helping us communicate...not to draw us apart!!!