Haunted

 Did it ever happen to you?! That one issue that never leaves you in peace?! you keep thinking of it no matter what?! always on your mind? No matter how hard you try to ignore or let it go, it just comes back again to you?! So, let's have a little talk then....

Years have passed, People said time will heal it, all these wounds will be forgotten, all those tears will turn to smiles, all those sad days will turn into heaven.... But did it happen actually ?!
How come after all these years, although I know all the facts, I know the truth behind it all, I accept the fact that it's over forever... So why does it keep bothering me?!
Is it normal that every time it happens everything comes back to me? And when I try to suppress it, it dominates over my sub-conscious?! Is that even possible? Is it hard for me to be happy for some time? Am I asking for too much ?!
Am feeling numb.... everyone talks about that issue as if am just a lunatic wacko.... Like I have lost my sanity.... like am an abnormal person to keep holding on for all this time...why can't they understand that I can't control it....
Too hard for me to pretend, and I keep it inside of me till it eats me and then...…..
I BREAK DOWN and I weep and everything seems blur In front of me!! And everything around me makes me feel am a stranger, as if I don't belong to this world!!! Is there something wrong with me?! I am only asking for a simple thing....to let it go....to forget....to feel indifferent towards this....am so tired of this dilemma, I appear am in an endless cycle going on and on and on.... Non-stop! it makes me afraid....it makes me frown....it makes me everything am fighting for.... disappointment? depression? acting it out? dreams? reality? being numb?! 
it seems to go endlessly! I just pray God for a way to get out of it!!! And all I can do now is keep the hope!! And wish for the best!!